At last I have some ammunition for those conversations with earnest students seeking El Jefe's great wisdom and free advice on where they should attend college. After all, some fields of study are more interesting than others, and a certain large University in Austin, alma mater of El Jefe, has so many advantages. Alas, I took much too much advantage. . . I did get an education, although sometimes not quite the one my long-suffering parents had in mind.