Saturday, August 5, 2006

Who Moved My Cheese ?

Wasn't able to get out of town this weekend (had planned to go off to the country, if only for a night). Helas, no such luck, c'est trop tard. The Heir is playing football this fall, and the weekend is devoted to extensive preparations for that.
Mother-in-law is in town. Usually this is a good thing, but sometimes certain Mother in Law foibles can create....a ruction, so to speak.
The other night, I arrived home early from work, prior to taking Heir off to a football event. It was going to be a loooooong time till dinner, so naturally, El Jefe wanted a bit of a snack. Of course, like any self-respecting head of a vast nefarious empire, I headed straight for the cheese drawer, to find the Imperial stash of Parmigiano Reggiano.
Parmigiano Reggiano, along with 50 year old single malt scotch, Merlot, Sirloin, good mustard and Oreo Double Stuf cookies, must be accounted, truly, as God's food. I am very picky about cheese, and if you have been allowed into my stash of Parmigiano Reggiano, you truly stand high with El Jefe. Opening the drawer, I reached in for my little cache of comfort food. . .
Gone.
Yeppers, it was Gone. Not there. Nada. Zilcharino. Flew the Coop. Kaput. Adios.
Horrors ! An al Qaeda/Hezbollah cell active right here in River City...in beautiful downtown Cuidad El Jefe. Underground cheese conspirators of the non-rodent kind !
After the volcano quit exploding, I was able to ask, in a somewhat coherent manner. . . positively oozing politeness and kindness (do not frighten the victims before obtaining information) . . the question "Who moved my cheese ?"
It emerged that, ahem, Mother in Law had. . .
Thrown it out.
Yes, you read correctly... thrown it out. She thought it was old, no good, whatever...and she threw a $20,00 brick of sunny Italia's finest Parmigiano Reggiano down the disposal.
Scuze me, I'm gonna go chew the carpet again for awhile.

7 comments:

Omni said...

Sounds like it's time to accidentally throw out or destroy something of hers...

El Jefe Maximo said...

No...though sorely aggreived, I shall not indulge in acts of simple vengeance or petty retaliation. Too much bad karma.

Instead, I shall take the difficult road; the high road of forgiveness, of accepting my loss and moving on with life...Still if I sulk and mope for awhile, or feel the need to spend lots of $$$ on more cheese, wine, decent scotch or a book, no doubt everyone will understand...particularly when I mention, or cause others to mention...ever so unobtrusively, the Day of Infamy that was the Cheese Incident.

Voyager said...

Quite a while since i lived in Houston - bet your electricity and water bill are pretty high with the Baghdad Weather y'all getting down there........

Candidly Caroline said...

Oh, my gosh, that's hilarious! ... I mean, terrible!

I feel your pain. That's the equivalent of someone eating the last bit of my Blue Bell ice cream.
Ohhhh, no one makes that mistake more than once!! :)

El Jefe Maximo said...

Blue Bell ? (perk) Mmmmm...What flavor ?

Candidly Caroline said...

Dutch Chocolate usually these days, although sometimes I feel like Rocky Road or Homemade Vanilla with chocolate syrup.

Of course, occasionally, Mint Chocolate Chip or Cookies 'n Cream is just right ...

El Jefe Maximo said...

BB's Dutch Choco. is super good, although I'm usually a Cookies and Cream person.