Thursday, July 31, 2008

St. Barack and the Titanic

Over at American Power blog, Professor Douglas calls attention to send-ups of St. Barack's "victory tour" in the Washington Post and in USA Today. The Sainted One's "presumptuous arrogance" Professor Douglas correctly notes, could lead to a stunning loss. Well, from the Professor's pen to God's pad, let's hope. In this same vein, commenter (and blogger) "Educated Shoprat" notes that: "They said that 'God Himself couldn't sink the Titanic' but down she went. Hubris is the enemy of the great, near-great, and self-deluded."
Maybe, but I dunno. . .
If St. Barack had been on Titanic, it would have been a totally different tale. First, St. Barack would have equalized the wealth of first class and steerage, thus assuring all that the voyage across the icy cold North Atlantic was total Nirvana for the poor immigrants seeking a better life in the New World (room for lots and lots more with St. Barack on board); and a wonderful happy crossing for even the ship's rats.
Then, the Great One would have used his tough presidential diplomacy to influence Captain Smith to ignore the evil demands of J. Bruce Ismay (symbol of the corporate greed fostered by Republicans) to go faster than a fuel-efficient 55 mph. The Man of Hope would have further prevailed on Captain Smith to reverse the failed lookout policies of the Bush administration, and to pay his lookouts a fair Union wage rather than outsourcing their work to China.
Once the ship hit the iceberg, St. Barack would have immediately implemented allocation of lifeboat space based on the best affirmative action principles. He would have convened earnest and determined academic study groups seeking input from all parts of the community to prepare a thesis on the best, fairest, most PC way to allocate lifeboat space, to ensure that the contributions of the poor, passengers of color, the differently-abled, and those of diverse sexual preferences were taken into account. (The target date for completion of the study would be mid-1913).
In the meantime, St. Barack's friend, Reverend Wright, could sermonize the passengers on the sins of America, leading them in rousing renditions of Nearer My God to Thee, St. Barack and the Internationale. Meanwhile, down in steerage, St. Barack's other pal, Bill Ayers, would be busily forming SDS ("Steerage for a Democratic Society") and planning the revolution against the first class passengers. Michelle's there too, inspiring the crew manning the pumps to truly Stakhanovite efforts: "Barack . . .will require you to work. . . come out of your isolation, that you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed."
With St. Barack aboard, the Titanic passengers have really Got Hope. On the boat deck, St. Barack gives up waiting on the blue-ribbon academic panel to come up with a lifeboat-allocation plan, reverse the rotation of the world, stop the Iranian nukes, and make the crops grow. He puts his "community organizer" persona into overdrive, leading the crew in rhythmic chants of "Yes We Can ! Yes We Can !" Inspired, the crew swings into action, patches the hole in Titanic and (powered by hot air from MoveOn.org) steams that puppy right into New York, running over Hillary Clinton as the ship makes port.
St. Barack saves the ship, and gets Kate Winslet (plus the "Heart of the Ocean" for good measure). Titanic, refitted, is renamed St Barack's Hope and given a new figurehead, that says "Vero possumus" and looks suspiciously like a presidential seal. A grateful world yawns, and gives St. Barack the keys to the White House, the Vatican and the Executive Washroom. Savior Barack is packed right off on a European tour, where Katie Couric and the world media swoon and go ga-ga as the Sainted One makes World Peace Surpassing All Understanding, for All Time to Come. . .

26 comments:

The Kitchen said...

Love it!!!

hank_F_M said...

El Jefe


once the ship hit the iceberg, St. Barack would have immediately implemented allocation of lifeboat space based on the best affirmative action principles. He would have convened earnest and determined academic study groups seeking input from all parts of the community to prepare a thesis on the best, fairest, most PC way to allocate lifeboat space, to ensure that the contributions of the poor, passengers of color, the differently-abled, and those of diverse sexual preferences were taken into account..

Don’t forget th Sainted One is a long time operative of the Demcratic Chicago machine. Open bidding on the life boat seats for each category. And for some extra incentive one may even bump a category.

El Jefe Maximo said...

Hmmmm, good point, Hank. So the Great One's guys are at the boats, asking each passenger looking for a spot "who sent you ? We don't want nobody that nobody sent.".

PC must, after all, give way to reality sometimes: even for Lefties -- most especially for Lefties -- some are more equal than others.

El Jefe Maximo said...

I tried to make a blog post this morning, and got a message that the blog had been locked due to possible "terms of service" violations. When I clicked on the suggested link to find out what to do, I found this message:

"YOUR BLOG IS LOCKED

Blogger's spam-prevention robots have detected that your blog has characteristics of a spam blog. (What's a spam blog?) Since you're an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this false positive.

We received your unlock request on August 1, 2008. On behalf of the robots, we apologize for locking your non-spam blog. Please be patient while we take a look at your blog and verify that it is not spam."

They're apologizing on behalf of the robots !

I do wonder if the blog will be unlocked. I'll do whatever I can do to get back on line, but the Kingdom of Chaos appears to have become another statistic among a number of anti-Obama blogs having this issue. (see http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/256789) (Sorry to give you the link that way, but it doesn't appear to allow me to link either).

Rant to somebody about it, please, if you have a clue who to rant to. No telling when, or if, this will be fixed.

Jack said...

You are obviously a racial bigot.

El Jefe Maximo said...

Amazing how if you're against the Messiah you're automatically a racist.

Calling somebody a bigot in this context is clearly an effort to silence debate or criticism...not to argue. How fascist is that ?

But you're right, I am a bigot. But get your type of bigotry straight, Jack, I'm an anti-liberal bigot.

Jack said...

You're honest. You admit what you obviously are---a racial bigot. Hey, find your local liberal Unitarian-Universalist church and proceed as your 'brother' anti-liberal did. Jack

El Jefe Maximo said...

I admitted no such thing Jack. You should learn to read...

Jack said...

Read some of your own stuff. Have you found that church yet. You describe yourself exactly as the killer did. Jack

El Jefe Maximo said...

It would probably help if I knew what you were talking about. Whatever.

Jack said...

You're probably spending too much time at your blog. I guess you missed the national story about the right wing nut who shot up the church in Tenn. having a childrens play because, as he described himself, he was "anti-liberal." Isn't that what you call yourself during your rantings. Jack

El Jefe Maximo said...

So every anti-liberal is a criminal ? You sound like Chavez. Good bye.

Jack said...

Why don't you just call yourself "conservative?" Saying you are motivated by 'anti-liberalism,' shows who you are. I have many conservative friends. They never describe themselves as "anti-liberal." The first time I heard this description of a person's view was the killer in Tenn. You are not a killer, I guess, but to define yourself by what you hate is rather strange. Jack

Anonymous said...

Why is someone that is anti-liberal a racist?

Also, El Jefe desn't believe in shooting animals, much less people.

Of course not quashing of free speech either.

Of course not socialism either.

Jack said...

BTW, defining yourself by what you hate IS strange. And fantasizing that your blog is being 'blocked' by Obama supporters---well, we get the point. Read some psychology. Jack

Anonymous said...

Jack, You sound angry. Doesn't this violation of freedom of speech even bother you at the slightest level? And why must when someone is opposed to something, they're called a Hater? (Like saying that isn't hateful?!?)
Jack, I know El Jefe personally, and he is the most well read, and certainly one of the most fair and honest individuals I know.
As an American, why would you not want people to express their views freely???

Jack said...

I'm not angry at all.And who said anything about "free speech?" I do think defining yourself by what you hate mixed in with a touch of paranoia is troublesome. Jack

El Jefe Maximo said...

I don't think I'm notably paranoid, but see how you feel if your own blog gets blocked.

I am more conservative than anti-liberal. I don't think I hate liberals as much as I tend to think they indulge in too much unreality.

Jack said...

You're sounding a little more normal. But what proof do you have that Obama backers are "blocking" your blog?

I may have made a mistake. I think you are more "populist" than conservative.

My thesis was a favorable treatment of the "new conservatism." Made my liberal advisors very angry. But the new populism (Robert Novak)is NOT conservatism.

I must say your post on the "Titanic" did not seem very thoughtful and "fair" as your friend wrote. Jack

El Jefe Maximo said...

I'm not sure that they are. I admit that I have no evidence to that effect whatever...and it wouldn't have occurred to me to even say that until I went googling and found various anti-Obama bloggers (mostly of the pro-Hillary persuasion) complaining that their blogs had been blocked, in a manner similar to mine, which I find interesting.

Possibly it's just over-eager Blogger-bot doing what blogger bots do. But possibly not. I am irritated about it, but the service is free, and if I get irritated enough I will relocate. Even if, for purposes of argument, Blogger/Google is pro-Obama and has a systematic program to eliminate anti-Obama blogs, I have no evidence, yet, that they're so doing, but even so, I would defend their right to do so -- after all, they are a business, and it's their ball, their bat, their rules. They're not the government, and I'll make my own arrangements. But I may well gripe quite a bit about it.

Populist ? I ? There is not a populist bone in my body, either left populist, or right populist.

Jack said...

Gee, have you blocked me? Your right. Jack

Anonymous said...

Dear Jack,
You're a bad speller - does that make me a hater?

Jack said...

Anon, you obviously don't blog much or you would know its considered bad taste to question typos and spelling errors. What did I not spell right? Jack

Jack said...

Anon, waiting for my list of words I did not spell correctly. BTW, you might want to check your sentence construction.For example, "And why must......." Jack

Jack said...

Dear anon, I really need that spelling list!!!!! Jack

Frank said...

Don’t forget the Sainted One is a long time operative of the Democratic Chicago machine. Open bidding on the life boat seats for each category. And for some extra incentive one may even bump a category.